At the Mall with Evan

Evan does not like his picture being taken in public

Evan works in the mall, so there is something in his head that drives him to return to such a place whenever he can—much like a moth must fly towards bad life choices.  This is normally not a problem as he works in retail and the only days you are allowed off in that line of work is midweek when the store normally remains empty save for the sad and teenaged.  This week it that was not the case, as he has been promoted and allowed to take off weekends.  Also I believe that there is a holiday of some kind next week so it was a little more crowded than normal.

It is interesting that I have reached a point in my life that I can look at a situation and think, “This is going to be terrible,” and somehow that makes it entirely better.  I must be getting pretty good at least at the noticing how bad thing will be because I said that when we were looking for a parking spot and I we had turned into stalkers the moment that we saw someone walk away from the mall.  If I hadn’t made clear just how crowded the mall was I am sorry, but it was the kind of busy that I can see my mom having a panic attack and somehow blaming my father, brother, and I for everyone else being there.

It always bodes well when everything is 25-75% off BEFORE the holiday

In a recession there are always a ton of empty store fronts in a mall; during Christmas those store fronts quickly turn into some kind of cash grab business that stocks its shelves with seemingly whatever the renter can find in their living room.  I am sure that we aren’t long before we see the annual, “Books, Records and a Broom Collection” stores popping up and selling to concerned parents of dirty college students who want a vintage look in their condemned living space to compliment the two decade old mold.

This is an important factor because Evan and I decided to go into what seemed like a new, small chain, toy store.  At first I started calling the place, “The Clearance Store” as there were signs everywhere saying how much off everything was—which was good because almost everything there was vastly overpriced 25 years ago when it had just come out.  Evan, on the other hand called it, “The Store for Parents that Hate Their Children”.  Sadly I believe we both lost to a random customer that said, and I quote, “I thought these got recalled.”

It is bad when the estimated wait time for food is measured in days

There has to be a point in which enough strangers are surrounding a given person that they simply feel like they are alone and can do as they please.  This is always odd for me as it seems like I may be the only person in the world that is overhearing all of the crazy conversations that people are having.  This time it started off as someone being annoyed that everyone else in the world had decided to do Christmas shopping at the same time that they had, and then turned kind of weird when it seemed like they started longing for violence, which is why I believe that both Evan and myself ducked inside of the Best Buy to try and avoid where ever that guy was going.

We also toyed around with the idea of trying to find food somewhere in the mall, which I pretty much tried to veto as it being the single worst idea of the day.  Considering that we were hungry when the suggestion was made I was able to extrapolate out that by the time that we ordered one of us would be dead and the other would be fending off the aforementioned insane person.  It is kind of hard to justify being directly in front of a restaurant that you would like to eat at, but knowing that driving 15 minutes in any direction will get you to another one where you can be in your car on the way home, and full, before you would be seated at the place you are looking at.

Also his lap probably smells like pee at the end of a day

Also, I need to bring up–for my mom– that Santa was there.  He did seem to be kind of annoyed by it, but I probably would be too if this was the one time of year I was expected to work and was about a week away from a 24 hour trip around the world.

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1 Response

  1. Marylou says:

    Daniel! Santa works ALL year long, making all the toys for good girls and boys! He just comes out in public this time of year to say hello and give out candy canes. And ,yes indeed, I would have a panic attack at the thought of going to the mall. I have to get to Plattsburgh sometime this weekend, but NOT to the mall or Walmarts. And it must be agreed apon that working retail is especially difficult this time of year. Please be kind to your sales clerk and always leave a BIG tip.

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