5 Stupid Things the iPad will Cause

So Apple announced the iPad today.  Needless to say that I really want one.  Granted there are a ton of reason that I am probably going to force myself to wait until the second generation of them come around; mainly so I can get one with the features that will make the thing functional.  But that got me thinking, what are five random, stupid things people will do within moments of it coming out.

1.  Hack it to play World of Warcraft:  Someone managed to do this a long time ago with the iPhone, but not in a way that was conducive to playing the game itself.  Something tells me that with the little extra power that the tablet is packing it will probably happen pretty quickly, and it will probably become the new fade that we will all see at Panera Bread.

2. Critics who normally hate technology will proclaim that it has changed media:  Old people are scared of change.  Technology, by the definition that I have giving it at this moment, is the constant act of change.  The only company in the history of man that has successfully had technology involved, made a profit, and not scared the old is Apple.  This means that any time they do something all of the old people in the world see it as the only change worth noting, even though the kindle is on something like its fifth revamp.

3. Large jailbreak community will only release “stable mods”:  My main complaint, and only reason that I am not buying one at launch, is that the iPad cannot multitask.  While history has taught me that someone will figure out a way to program the device to do this without issue roughly 12 seconds after its official release; the entire process will either void anything that resembles a warranty on the unit or cause it to crash at random intervals and wipe all memory from the system.  This will be considered the “stable” release.

4.  Someone will write a terrible book from it, causing it to hit a best sellers list:  People don’t buy books like they used to, this is a sad fact.  The only real way to get people interested in a new book, especially the process of writing said book, is to do it in an unconventional and stupid way.  People have used twitter, Facebook, and other dumb and wrong ways to throw together a couple dozens of pages and try and get them published.  Normally the only thing worse than the methods used to write the book is the writing inside of it.  Sorry world, there is more to writing than using random freakin’ gimmicks to get Matt Lauer to notice.

5. My mom will become interested in buying one in roughly five years: The woman who still owns, listens to, and looks to buy tapes owns an iPod.  Granted this happened years and years after the rest of the world had one; but she still gets a little annoyed when she can’t find it before heading out to work (even if she does have to call me to put new music on it).  Five years from now she will probably refer to it as “that thing that everyone reads books on”, while the rest of us are getting the New York Times beamed directly to our brains.

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3 Responses to 5 Stupid Things the iPad will Cause

  1. Marylou says:

    I didn’t understand any of this except that you think I am 5 years behind in technology. Thanks, Dan. Love you too.

  2. Wifey says:

    It’s still just a toy!

  3. Chris from PA says:

    I expected it to be more of a tablet laptop sort of deal with Apple’s insane-o price tag. I was disappointed to see that it’s more or less a big iTouch. No USB ports?!

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