Fun Times With MSG

Sorry about the delay on the adventures of eating weird food.  My computer exploded.  No more excuses.  Here is more adventures in eating things.

The above bag is full of jelly sticks.  Looking at this image makes you exactly as knowledgeable about the product as I am at this moment, save for the fact that I have ingested them.  What is it like?  Well you are going to have to wait till the end of the post to find out, it is that entertaining.

Also the packaging says “jelly strip” and the thing itself says “jelly straw”.  Nothing else is in earth speak.

So here is the first part of the huge batch of ramen that I got at the store.  From the outside I knew two things; the first is that the chef on the cover doesn’t really care what I think of his product, he just hates me.  The second is that besides the complete lack of writing on the box, the company that made it is kind enough to let me know it is beef flavored.  I wouldn’t call myself a hero by eating this bowl of food, but I would say that I am pretty brave and that others should call me a hero for it.

The first thing that you should notice about this bowl is that there is a large chunk of contents that look like my chinchillas poop after he has had too many treats.  When I opened the packaging this didn’t really bother me, strangely, because of my time in Boy Scouts.  A couple of times a year we would be forced to make what our scout master referred to as “survival dinner,” which was basically making a meal out of crazy army type rations.  When I saw the bag that this came in, sadly, the first thing through my mind was “broth”.  That changed on opening it.

Some of the substance stuck onto my finger, and thinking that this was simply concentrated beef at this time, I naturally licked my finger.  Which is exactly where I thought that this entire idea of trying weird food was a bad, bad idea.  A drop of this stuff tasted somewhere between gum you find under a table and dirt.  I literally stopped preparing it to go and thoroughly wash my hands to get ride of it.  On re-entering the kitchen all I could smell was the stuff, and it smelled like rotten meat.

Also if you will notice there are chunks of vegetables in the mix as well.  They came in another packet that I opened first.

Something must be wrong with me because I went ahead and prepared the thing anyway.  I don’t know if I thought that a story about throwing up would be an entertaining update or what, but I did.  As a side note I found a third packet of flavoring after pouring in bowling water and waiting the allotted three to five minutes.  First time I have ever had a ramen bowl with more than two packets.

So how did it taste?

It was honestly the best bowl of ramen I have ever had in my life.  The thing is probably two years old but the vegetables tasted and felt fresh, and there where chunks of beef in it that weren’t half bad.  Even though the kitchen still smelled after I was done eating it, I have to say that judgmental chef has something going on his ramen.

I have several short stories about these Jelly Straws.  First; I gave them to five other people, not counting myself, and all but two of them hated it.  Don’t know what is wrong with those two freaks.  Second; opening them causes the substance inside to shoot out with enough force to go several feet.  It caught one of my friends directly in his open eye, and while it did no damage besides be disgusting, making the rest of us paranoid to even be around them.  Third; there is no way to tell what flavor you are getting.  All of them are put in random packaging with no English on them.  Also there are insane anime characters really happy about your choice in Asian food on the plastic.  Last; they taste like you expect foreign food to taste, wrong and upsetting.

Keep in mind that no one person who did eat it can really describe what the consistency of it is like.   Stark said that it was like an under cooked gummy beer.  Veronica said booger.  I said jelly fish.  All of them are pretty much equally off base.  It is basically between what the real world calls jell-o and a liquid.  Hopefully this is as upsetting to hear described as it was to eat it.

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