Stark’s Birthday

It is Stark’s Birthday today.  You should all wish him a happy birthday.  In light of this I am going to talk at some length about the trip to Burlington that he and I took on Saturday.  The restaurant that we where going to get wings at closed, but that seemed to be a secondary after about 10 minutes there. We found adventure.

Two things should bother you about this picture.  The first is that I clearly went back to the Asian food-mart.  The second is that Stark is holding a packet of beef-jerky that has next to no English on it, but yet promises that it is made in the U.S.A.  Granted, I am probably the last one that should be calling a bag containing meat a liar but that doesn’t change the fact that China isn’t part of the US.

I honestly have no idea what Stark was thinking when he bought these.  Half of the articles having to do with it last time were about him almost throwing up because of the place, and when he went in he promised that he was only going to buy candy that we both knew for a fact was good.  He walked out with the weird sodas and a bag of what I thought was pork flavored jerky (why not just make pork jerky?).   I noticed something was up when he opened the bag of jerky in my car and gagged a little.  Pork doesn’t make you gag, it makes you happy for freedom.

How did it taste?  Exactly like a fruit-by-the-foot, but with meat texture.  While eating the only piece I dared I spent it thinking about how wrong it was, and wondering why I didn’t hate it.  This greatly, greatly confused me.  Stark straight up loved the stuff, thought it was the best thing he had in awhile.  That confused me more, but only because he wasn’t being sarcastic.

We than found our way into the mall.  Stark found a wind machine.  I found the video recording function on my camera.

“So what did you think about it?”

“Eh, I have wasted two dollars on stupider things.”

For those of you wondering, yes this and the beef-jerky picture where taken about 30 seconds apart.

No trip to Burlington is complete without stopping at the liquor store that has a gas station glued on to it.  Not just because the place is directly before you get back onto the ferry, also because booze is about half the price it is in New York.  This being his first time there Stark spent 45 minutes checking out the most insane bottle he could find.  In his defense that is the same exact thing the rest of us do the first time there.  That and getting drunk that night.

Some things that need to be explained with the booze.  First, when they say honey liquor they are not lying.  When opened the entire room smelled like someone spilled a bottle of honey perfume in it.  Second, there is bold lettering at the bottom that says “Serve this chilled.  It will taste better”.  I enjoyed it because it made me feel like the bottle was watching out for our best interests, almost like it was trying to be my friend.  Lastly the image on it is of a hunter trapping a bear’s foot in a log with a rope while they both reach for honey.  The longer you look at this the more you become exactly as confused at the bear.

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