Somehow, my guess is under a dollar at a tag sale, we ended up with a Chia pet.Â As you can clearly see we are making every attempt to take the up most care of it– it has both mild amounts of sunlight and a questionable amount of stagnate water that I don’t know if either one of us will ever change and will probably soon start supporting life.Â I am not worried about this, though, as I have personal experience with these things.
Just a quick side note: Chia Pets make possibly the worst gift ever.
So one year my parents received a Chia Head for a Christmas gift.Â I believe this was the 90’s and half a gag gift and half an attempt of someone to fully admit that they just didn’t know what to buy my family, but didn’t even want to make the effort that looking farther then every other commercial was needed.Â Needless to say that it was such a thoughtful gift that it sat in a box, forgotten, for years.Â Oddly, one day my brother and I awoke to find that the thing had been slathered in the seed-type mix and left near a window.Â My two, favorite, guesses, of possibly all time, are that 1: my parents had some kind of really bizaare fight that ended up with one of them constructing the thing out of spite at the other (possibly because as a child–and now grown adult– that is the level most arguments should be taken to) or 2. that there were was so little on TV that the only thing left to do was to read the instructions of this “gift”.
I am sure I could find out, but that seems entirely less fun then making up things.
Here is what I learned about the gift:
It will sit exactly where it is left and look more like there is some kind of strange and scaly mold growing on it then what I believe is, in reality, grass seed.Â It will continue to take water and do something with it, possibly store it in some secret vault to slowly poison and release into the atmosphere to kill us all one day in the distant future.Â Roughly three hours before everyone is making plans on how to throw the thing away with the least amount of touching involved do to “space cooties” it will have about an inch of grass magically growing from it, it only does this because it knows that you are plotting against it.Â It then sits, demanding water, until you finally break from its mind control and remember how dumb the entire thing is and throw it away.