My Father the Hero

Through various events that have transpired over the course of about a month I ended up with my Nana’s car.  After all is said and done this works out rather nicely for me, as Stark is using my car most of the time and I am left home without any real means of traveling any great distances (no Matt, I don’t own a bike).  Also it is a green station wagon, which for some reason means that Veronica is already three kinds of in love with the car.

The problem with this, entirely free, transaction is that it had been sitting idly in a garage for over a year; before that it had rarely been touched.  I have learned through this experience that things containing many moving parts like to be used from time to time, or else things tend go bad to them.  For me it has turned into a small adventure of things that need to be looked at, like the car probably needing dry gas with most fill ups for a bit, the radio and clock needing to be adjusted to the right time/favorites channels, and my favorite—the air intake being full of bird seeds.

The great part about this is that when I had the air on in the car I just thought that the entire thing sucked at blowing, it took my father showing up—more on that in a second—and playing with the air filter to notice the handfuls of seeds casually mounded around.  Even though Veronica refuses to admit it, I know it was the squirrels.  I spent enough time at my Nana’s house hearing her yell about, “Those damned grey squirrels” to think that it could be anything else.

Finally, I noticed that when I was drive the car it wasn’t accelerating well; when I was on the highway the car wouldn’t go over 60 and that speed was struggle for it.  The solution that Veronica and I dreamed up was to take the car out for a drive to see if it was just water in the gas.  This involved taking my beloved out to dinner, stopping at an auto parts store and speaking to people, and even adding high grade gas to the car to see if it got better.

At one point I thought our steps had done the trick.  Please note that is directly before it stopped working altogether.

So here I am, just cresting a hill in the middle of four lanes of traffic when the car decides that it just done playing my insanity games and no longer wants to recognize my go pedal input.  At this point I have to use what little momentum that is left from it moving both miles an hour to glide it off the road and into a stranger’s driveway.  Keep in mind that this driveway, which is the only place besides the sidewalk to get off the road, is also on an incline, so the car kind of stops halfway still in the road and I am forced to get out and push while Veronica tries to steer.  As the car is just over a ton this does nothing besides start to roll back on me.  After about a minute of this pointless action a nice man stopped and helped, and we managed to get the car into some random person’s front drive.

Now I forget the course of events that took place during all of this, but somehow both my father and Stark ended up showing up to inspect the car.  I believe that Stark was there because we forced him to run an errand as he had access to one of our working cars, and if I had to guess I think that my father showed up because this is the kind of thing that he considers a good time.

Don’t get me wrong, every time that my car breaks down my father gets involved about 95% of the time.  I consider what that man says about things with engines to be law.  If he told me that chinchilla poop makes cars go faster I don’t even know if I would second guess it before I started feeding Chaz laxatives.  So when he showed up, inspected the car, double checked everything I told him was broken (let’s be honest, that is a good place to start), and simply said, “Yup, that isn’t good,”  and then something about it being a good thing there was a tow truck coming I was naturally a little sadden.

That said I have an awesome new/old car that has just had a brand new clutch/flywheel put into it.

Comments 5

  • pleasure to help you son love you dad

  • So, the car is running? And YEAH! for AAA! and YEAH for your Father the Hero! And too bad the car can’t run on chicken poop because I have alot of that.And Yeah! for Veronica!(Just because).Love you too, Mom

  • I love how you can take a moment in our lives and make me laugh looking back at it even when at the time I just wanted to throw things!!!

  • I love that in the top photo all we see of your dad is his arm and his Epic Beard of Wonder and Heroics.

  • Of course Uncle Andy is aero. He could make apace ship work with duct tape and Bobbie pins!