The Grocery Shopping Event

Veronica has been on this really long and drawn out kick to make us do things on the weekend.  Unfortunately for me this does not involve napping so much as it does going outside and interacting with other humans.  I have been insisting recently that at one point we had paperwork that stated that she would not force me to do this, she claims that sounds both stupid and untrue.  I am pretty sure that in this instance I married a liar.

This weekend she told me that something called Trader Joe’s had just opened up in the area and she wanted to go check it out.  She had been mentioning something about this store, and people that I know who live on the west coast say that the place is pretty amazing, so I thought that it wouldn’t be that terrible to go.  Sometimes I impress myself with how wrong I can be without trying.

Simply pulling into the parking lot in front of the store required us to wait in a line of cars for around five minutes.  Then, when we got in, there where cops directing the traffic around like some kind of very sad air traffic controller who had to stand out in the rain and deal with the worlds least capable pilots. At this point I am twitching a little bit, not because I don’t trust my wife driving, but because I really don’t like waiting in lines and the concept of people with short tempers hitting the car I am in to get a good parking spot in not the kind of adventure I would like to take with my wife on Sundays.

That is all before we get into the building.  The inside was 20 times worse.

I don’t really remember the last time that I was around so many people, packed into such a small place that it made my head spin.  That isn’t exaggerating either, I have complained before about crowds—during E3, in NYC, theme parks.  The difference between those complaints and this one is that all of those times the people that I didn’t want to be around had someplace to go away from me.  This experience was kind of like being crammed in an elevator with confused and disorientated people who were also trying to shop while being judgmental.  Honestly I was just there to look at stuff and I couldn’t even do that, there was no room to look at anything besides people being annoyed.

I normally assume that when Veronica leaves a store in a huff it is because of me.  Let’s face it, I am hard to deal with and some people have accused me of whining about having to stand—it is totally reasonable to think that she walking out of a place like it is on fire is probably my fault.  I love her for simply saying, “No, screw that noise” when I asked if we left because of me.

The solution that she came up with was about a billion times more awesome than going to a place that feels the urge to brand all of their products in some stupid tropical themed naming convention.  We went to an Asian Food Market.  Not the ones that I have been to before that were the size of someone’s apartment; this was full grocery store building sized—large enough that it even had a small “pharmacy” and bakery/restaurant in it.  To say that going here made my week would be like saying that there is sand on the beach, this was my week.  I hope that when I am old and grey I remember how awesome this first experience of going there was—well, either that or I make up an even better memory that never happened because I am crazy and old and creative.  My grandkids will think I was a spy against unicorns.

I love Asian food stores because of the insane things that they have, take for example the Royal Wedding Tea. Probably not licensed, almost certainly terrible, and if you think about it there is almost a guarantee that it is past its expiration date as that marriage is over a year old at this point.  I don’t know how long tea lasts, but even if it is forever I don’t know that I would want to drink Apollo 11 Landing on the Moon Sleepy Time—possibly because of the unreasonable branding.  It is probably a rule of marketing somewhere that you shouldn’t brand something to an event that is going to instantly make people question the expiration date, or remember how many children they have had since then.

The place is amazing.  I know that I like to make fun of things that I do, and slam people for not really getting the entire “English” thing—I am sure that our Chinese supermarket food says some dumb things on it—but I do want to point out that this place might be one of my very favorite in the Capital area.  Ok, probably behind the Thai food place and the Indian buffet, but it is up there with places that I can name that serve food and are also relatively closely located around me.  Also there is a Denny’s I have eaten at, but that place was depressing; it was like if Friendly’s had decided that it didn’t want to try anymore and bleached all the color out of the walls and taste from the food.

The bakery was cool though.  I have long heard about meat buns from the anime— that I have made people who love me buy— for decades, although I have never had one.  Luck would have it that they are stupid cheap, probably because they are like crack and taste amazing—more likely the cost being cheap has to do with it being bread dough and a very small amount of meat that costs like three cents and two minutes to make.  I am sticking with the crack theory though, because both Veronica and I have already started to plot on how to get more of these things.

Because if you hadn’t noticed they look amazing and awesome.

And Veronica made me give her one while she was driving because she couldn’t wait.

Comments 4

  • That you know that my favorite tea is the only reason I allowed you to live past the two seconds after I saw that last picture…..

  • Love Love Love your adventures

  • You want to spy on unicorns? Bradana will not care for this.

  • Don’t worry – the Trader Joe’s will get better. It took about 6 months for ours to settle down. Or, just go at 8pm. They have the best orange chicken… it is amazing. And cheap delicious wine. And cheese. And chocolate covered pomegranate seeds …. Their produce and meat overall I would say is suspect, but for groceries, TJ’s is pretty boss. In six months, when you can get in.