At this point I think that it is fair for me to assume that we have all met my wife. She is an odd duck; that is something that I am pretty sure that we have just all come to terms with. I say this, and yet I still host a website that is pretty much devoted to pointing out new and interesting things that I notice her doing constantly. That said here is something else interesting she did the other day:
So Veronica decided that she needed to go on vacation, something that shouldn’t be argued with seeing as how she now normally works a 60 hour week and only finds time to relax when I shoot her with the tranquilizer dart that I stole from the zoo. Seeing as how she decided to take time off of her own free will means that she is slowly learning, which I try to discourage in her as little as I can. Although when she told me that we were going to relax by going to see a longtime friend of mine in another state I started to wonder, most of our other attempts at vacation had involved carefully planned trips to Civil War sites and disappointing Renn. Fairs.
Chris Sherry, who has before been brought up on this blog, has been a friend of mine since before the internet was a thing. When I say that I don’t mean before the internet was popular in some massive and condescending voice, I mean it literally; I have known Chris since before computers were able to connect to each other and download stuff. At some point I should probably come to terms with the fact that seeing friends is entirely different than it was fifteen years ago when I could just drive over to their house, seeing as most of them don’t live ten minutes from me anymore.
It should be pointed out that what I thought was going to happen, us forcing the poor couple hosting us into showing us around their community and letting us do stupid touristy things, did not happen at all. Instead we pretty much ended up hanging out, talking a lot, playing video games (yes Veronica too), and drinking way, way too much. Mainly I can’t think of something that I would have rather done that weekend, mainly because it seemed like everyone was just doing what they would normally be doing with the exception of having friends there to make fun of the stuff they had in their house. Although I am pretty sure that last part was just me picking on Kim.
The one thing that we did go out of our way to do, besides drink heavily, was go to the Buffalo Festival; which I am unaware if it was named as such because there were once buffalo in that area or if it is a local joke, either way it doesn’t make much sense as it is located in the middle of Pennsylvania near nothing and sprawling emptiness. Also, it seemed that the event itself had nothing to do with buffalo; it was pitched to me a containing tons of fair food and live music, also beer.
Anyone who is curious enough to goad Veronica into a conversation about how to get me out of the house knows that the term “fair food” pretty much tops the list, so when describing an event with that as one of the central points pretty much means I am stupidly excited for it. Also this is quickly approaching middle America fair food, a location where the description on most signs both start and end with things being unnecessarily fried.
My large victory from the entire event was finding something called a “Taco Boat” which I had heard, through various legends, contains all of the fixing of tacos and nachos but over Fritos instead of nacho chips. I don’t really know what they put in it, as I told them that I would take everything on it besides olives (as I am a human and not something that longs for the taste of fermented poop in my food), but I can say that it is probably something that Elvis ate on his way to dying in the most entirely happy way possible. If there was going to be a food that doctors would want to put on a poster to stop people from getting heart disease this would be it. Also, it was amazing.
On the list of wise eating choices was also Chris’ option of eating an entire turkey leg, because that is what a real man does in public. He did manage to do it more cleanly than I did the last time I encountered such a thing, meaning that he didn’t stick his entire face in it and let the juices start making dreadlocks in his beard. As you can see even his dog approves entirely of his choice.