The long journey home

So, constant reader today is the day that you find out my horrible, terrible secret.  While in Europe, I could update as late as I wanted and still manage to make it in under the radar of “daily” due to the 6 hour earlier.  This point of interest could ever go so far as making me look motivated and mindful of the readers eager to obtain content. 

Also I am placing the blame on the recent lack of updating goodness on traveling back to America; a feat that took 18 hours, chalked full of delays and wonderment.  Those feats and wonderment are present that I give you in the way of today’s update.

The journey started of simply enough; we got into a car with a German who proceeded to say absolutely nothing for the entire trip, which took about 20 minutes.  Not to be one to sit in silence I started to crack every single Simpsons related German joke that sprang to mind.  After the first Veronica smiled, looked disapprovingly, and changed the topic.  After the second she nudged me.  Being that I had received only 4 hours of sleep to took this as encouragement, managing 2 more solid zingers before she jabbed me, quite firmly in the ribs.  I still don’t get it.  The driver didn’t seem to mind, but then again he only spoke when we got out at the airport with a prompt, “Have a good day,” as he ejected us from the car.

We managed to get there so early that there were no lines.  One of the, strangely, very nice people who processed our tickets told us that our bags were too heavy and we would have to pay 25 dollars or shuffle the contents of our bags to magically “rid” one of our bags of 40 pounds.  Veronica said fine and produced money.  She looked amazingly confused, because no one ever seemed to opt for this reasoning, processed our tickets and directed us to the desk we would have to use to pay.  They too, were very friendly, almost like Germans have something they feel they need to make up for. ZING!

 From the country that prints “Smoking kills” in giant letters on a box, I give you “The best place for 2nd hand smoke ever!”

The above picture is the “smoking area” which in America always consists of a hermitically sealed room.  As you can see nothing like anything even close to American reasoning is present in Germany.  Veronica was given a small stand; open to the air and everyone walking around, to smoke.  Pushed to the side, but not a corner, this was possibly the most interesting installment of Veronica’s “Smoking ‘round the world.”

On the flight back over the pound I was graced with a very interesting woman to sit next to, other than Veronica.  As soon as the cost of drinks was announced, roughly 15 minutes into the air, she requested 5 bottles of vodka and tomato juice to drink it with.  After she was given the requested parts, she produced what can only be described as “enough sleeping pills to put down the most hyperactive child ever,” she then took ALL the pills and drank ALL the vodka, thus becoming the first person ever to not overdose in such a manner.

She woke up… roughly ½ of the way through the flight, requested the meal she missed, downed it, and then request more vodka and juice.  Interestingly enough she clearly either took more, (I don’t know how to scientifically measure a “fistful”) or still had a bunch of the pills floating through her system because she passed out before she could put her MASSIVE FREEZERBAG FULL OF PILLS away, falling into what I feared was her death sleep.  She didn’t die, but I am pretty sure every drug addict ever must be impressed.

We then arrived at Newark, Jersey, and entered the period of time that will thusly be known as “Thank God I left Jersey.”   We were delayed 15 minutes landing because of poor visibility, which clearly means it was bad because you can’t really see anything truth the normal amount of fog that hangs over Jersey.  Once we got off the plane the only thing that we heard was constant cancelations on flights.  This was disconcerting because we, as people on a trip, use airplanes to travel to other places besides New Jersey. 

As a side note: our jaunt through customs was so smooth it isn’t even worth mentioning; Interesting enough to mention, but not enough to create a well versed story from.

After what can be described as the worst ever airport layout confusion we managed to find out gate to find out our plane had been delayed 30 minutes to land.  No problem. 

After landing our plane had some kind of light burn out, and seeing as the people fixing it were clearly hourly employees and union workers, it took an hour and a half to fix.  This made me angry because I had been up for about 16 hours, and should have been home by this time, this and the fact that I could have driven the distance in less time then I waited for the plane.  This became more and more of a concern seeing as how I heard a grand total of 2 boarding calls while I was there, and about 100 flight cancelations. 

We finally got home, late but still home. 

No, he isn’t excited at all.

Also, Nick seemed excited to see me.