Airport hell

What always strikes me as rather odd in these moments is that I did, in fact, pay to be placed into this position. I am sure that there is some kind of mental condition out there that perfectly describes the action when a person willing places themselves into places that they know they are going to experience great amounts of discomfort. That is ok, though, because there are several thousand people a day who do this same exact thing to themselves, we all get onto planes and fly.

For me it is traveling home after an extended business trip. Sadly this experience is just going to end in me getting on another plane and flying even longer on a less comfortable single jump that is going to take three times longer then this entire day’s adventure will take total.

Airports, by nature, are depressing. I am surrounded by people who want nothing more then to not be around anyone else, they are frustrated they paid several hundred dollars to be treated like some kind of cattle. Most of us are tired, some of us are just plain angry, and pretty much all of us arrived two hours early because it has been drilled into our heads that if you don’t they aren’t going to let you on the plane. The more time that I spend in airports, the more that I believe that as long as you show up they are happy.

It is no wonder that almost all airlines are losing customers, they remind you every step of the way that they hate their jobs. Several weeks ago while flying I had a stewards throw a bag of peanuts at me. It was kind of interesting that she did this because she didn’t ask me, or anyone else, if we wanted any, she just walked down the isle tossing them at every single passenger. I mean, I know that this was indeed rude and everything, but I started to think that it was more amusing.

They really do think that they are getting away with this.

At this point in our history flight is something that has been so brought into our lives that we couldn’t do without it, but we can do without so many carriers. Maybe I am just bitter that the woman did call me several things that I wouldn’t repeat in front of my grandmother when I asked if I could have a glass of water, or maybe I just thought that when the pilot told me it was going to be an interesting trip because it was his first flight without a trainer, ever, before we got off the ground that maybe these people just needed some kind of training on how to talk to humans.

Or maybe they just hire whatever mutant they can find.

Airport personalities are possibly the greatest I have ever seen. What people think they can do while in an airport is rather interesting. I don’t’ ever remember walking around the city and seeing this many women wearing clothing some kind of super striper would wear. I am not talking about the normal stuff that you would walk into a club and see someone wearing, the kind that you know there is a 50 dollar cover, and if you want to see any form of anything you are going to have to pay another 50, you know, super stripers, the kind they must have in heaven. Yeah, they are all walking around the airport right now. I think there must be some kind of convention in town or something.

I probably wouldn’t say anything, but my girlfriend is kind of looking at me with those eyes implying that if she sees me looking I will die, possibly of some kind of fist through my face, or just by piercing eyes. Seen it happen.

I guess I can’t really complain, though, because there are super-stripers (wasn’t there a cartoon about that on Spike TV?), and free internet. I am sure that there are lots of things that I probably shouldn’t bring up, but I do.

I hope the next airport has free internet too. Then I might be able to update Varms too.